24th March 2008, Morning, 2nd Month.

24th March 2008, Monday. I had an apppointment with my doctor. I was very tensed. During this period of one month I had read many articles...and was scared if it was a ectopic pregnancy. In Ectopic pregnancy the fetus does not grow in the uterus, but starts growing in fallopian tube, ovary like other places. It is very painful and if the tube ruptures it could be life threatning for the mother. Well I did not have any severe pain.

We were waiting in the Visitor's lounge. I started feeling as if things were trumbling inside my stomach. It was nausea and Immideatly I ran into the rest room. I threw up all i had for break fast in the morning. I was feeling weak, but happy as that was the first time I vomited.

I had a list of questions for Dr. King. She then brought a small device near me. Applied a gel on my abdomen and started hearing some sound. We could hear our baby's heartbeat. It was so good and exciting. Prasad was happy too. The heartbeat was 172. she said that rate was good. She said as the heart beat is good and normal it doesn't look like a ectopic pregnancy. I was 50% releived. But wanted to confirm it through ultrasound.

Dr. King has been working in St. Lukes for about 8 years. She would have seen so many pregnant ladies in her career and heard so many heartbeats daily. But when she was testing me for the heartbeat she was so excited to hear it, there was a broad smile on her face. I loved the spirit of her work, being involved and enjoying her work.

Then the docter asked us to go for a ultra sound. I was very nervous. Everymoment i was praying to God. And then as she placed the device on my abdomen, we could see a gestational sac, and guess what, we could see our little one inside the sac. Now are kiddo looks like a peanut. But the most exciting part was when we saw the heartbeat. It was flickerring, shining....Wow!! It was wonderful. The lady there asked Prasad " Dad ! do u see that " and there was a broad smile on Daddy's face with a loud Yes. I was 8 weeks and 1 day and i would be due on 2nd Nov. Oh my God! I can't express what i was feeling, We were so so so happy. We were given a sonogram photo of the sac n our kiddo.

I was trying to control myself, but there would be a big smile on my face, which would not disappear....I was releived that everything was ok.

We went to the doctor again and she saw the photo and was happy. She said as of now everything looks good, and we can share our joy with the family.

We started heading home. We reached the car, and were confused wheteher to tell everyone or no. I wanted to tell it at that very moment, or on Ugadi ( Our new year ) which was 15 days later. God 15 days were too long. Imagine Prasad wanted to declare it on 10th May, on his birthday. I was like Impossible I can not wati that long. The very next moment i started calling. I wanted t tell this news to my mom as she was not doing good health wise. I was very scared and only wished i get an oppurtunity to share it with her.

I rang and Sarlamma picked up the phone, she was scared it was 10:30 PM in India. I said we were fine. Then Amma came there and i Congratulated her. She was confused and asked for what. I tld her u are going to become Ajji for her 3rd grandchild. She was so happy to hear that...I told my brother the same, he was happy and said, " You should have a baby boy as Lakshmi ( elder Sis ) has 2 girls. I was badly missing my Dad, as he always asked me for a belli gundu.

Then i called my Inlaws. My FIL answered and i congratulated him n told him that is going to be a grand pa for rd grand child. He was too happy. He said if i was to be there he would have hugged me. I missed a father's hug....Then my MIL she was very happy too, we told them all the details and that everything was fine.

Next we called my Sis IL. Prasad's sister Nagashree and her husband Shashi kiran. I wished them as they were going to be atte n mawa. They were also happy for us.

Then i called my sister who is in Denver. I wished her for becoming a dodamma. she was extremly happy and after a sec was confused and made it sure by asking "It means u have conceived, right". I told yes...and then wishes. Finally we called Vittal my BIL, he was very happy for the 2 of us.

Then we returned home. It was Magical. Like a dream....Prasad had his lunch and headed to office. Poor thing I did not allow him to tell the news to anyone. I was really sorry for him. He said he will tell his friends in the office. I asked him "how will u tell everyone? " He said what else will I tell " Me baap banane wala hoon."

4th March 2008

I was still curious and checked for another pregnancy test at home. This time the test line was very dark....and so was i very happy.
The pregnancy kits are based on detecting the BHCG hormone. My doctor said that if everything is normal then in every 2 days the amount of this hormone is doubled in the body.

26th February 2008, 1st Month

It was a Tuesday, and i had luckily got my doctors appointment.
My Doc is Maureen King. She examined me and asked me few questions if i had any symptoms. She confirmed that i was pregnant. She send me for a ultra sound. I was examined for a transvaginal ultrasound. My heartbeats were rising. The person veiwing the images said she was unable to see any gestational sac. By that time they had calculated me to be 5weeks pregnant. I went back to the doctor. Doctor said, the images showed that my right ovary had released an egg, which was a good sign. She said it could be too early to view anything. She said it would be too early to tell anything as it was just 5 weeks ( 1 month ). Anything coould happen. She advised not to travel and got me some blood tests for HIV, Cystic Fibrosis and HCG done. While drawing my blood Sara bruised my arm as she was unable to find a vein. The worst part was that i had to get blood drawn on the second day again for HCG count, and again it was Sara.
The test results for HIV, Cystic Fibrosis was negative. For HCG hormone the count was good.
But still nothing was sure.....the whole of next month was full of tension. I was so stressed that i used to dream of an apointment with doctor where she said everything is fine....
I got the next appointment with my doc for 24th Mar 10:50AM.

24th February 2008

24th February 2008 24th Feb 2008, Sunday, was a very special day. We had shifted to our new apartment the previous day. I was supposed to leave to Denver ( where my sister lives ) by noon. I was supposed to go there to take care of my sister as she was hospitalized due to having some problems with her pregnancy.It was a Sunday and it was around 6:30 - 7:00 AM when i woke up. As one needs to check the pregnancy test with the morning first urine, i thought of doing so. I was still sleepy.I for sure knew it would be negative as usual and that i would have to be depressed again.But for my surprise i saw 2 pink lines forming on the test window....I was surprised. The test line was lighter than the control. Still i was not able to beleive what i was seeing. I rubbed my eyes again and again and still saw the same. For one moment i thought it was the wrong test kit, may be i got ovultion kits instead of pregnancy test kits. No it was for sure Pregnancy test kit showing a positive result....I had a chill in my spine which was running throughout my entire body....my eyes were filled with tears and was trying to control the flood of emotions.I ran to my husband who was having a sound sleep. I woke him up and asked him to go and check what i saw. I told him " looks ike the pregnancy test is positive. " He has always been supportive to me whenever i had negative results and would be depressed. So this time he again he said, "go to sleep its Sunday." How would i allow him to sleep so easily....finally he woke up, went to the bathroom, came out and said " ya, I too see 2 lines on the test window."which is positive.Both of us were happy, but did not know what to do next. One of the happiest moments in our lives. He asked me not to be very excited till the Doctor confims it. But I had to travel the very same day. He said don't tell anything to anyone, once u r back we can go to the doctor....
We are married for 4 years and 4 months, and the first question any relative asked was " Any good news." Feeling sad from the depth of my heart, i would smile and say "not yet, we are trying. "
Whatever for the first time in my life i had got a positive est and was very happy for the same.So a very happy day.
After about half an hour, i went to the rest room, i was shocked to see my panties stained with blood. It was as if it was the begining of the next menstrual cycle. I was very nervous, scared. I was begging God ....I told my husband the same. He was also tensed. As it was a sunday we were unable to meet my doctor. I called the emergency and left a message. After few min i got a call from the hospital, i told them my condition. the Doc saidthat nothing could e decided at that moment. the test could be indicating either early pregnancy or miscaariage. i was tensed just went to the bed and lied down to take rest.We decided to cancel my travel.We called my sister and told her that i was having a severe back pain, and would not be able to travel....I am sure she would have hated me for that...but once she knows the reason she will understand. I spent the whole day telling others that i have back pain.
I was feeling better by evening, and did not have spottings after morning. We had to attend a function in the evening. I told my husband to carry on, but then we both decided to go. So, In the evening we went to Ramesh and Sunitha's house, they had a function for their newly born daughter Snikitha. Even there i had to tell every one i had back pain. During the function Sunitha came to me with a pack of soaked chik peas on beetle leaves. According to their customs, it is beleived that the chik peas are given to ladies who are eager to have kids. She wished the same for me and gave i to me.I was smiling within myself, but did not know what will happen in the future....We all had got gifts for Snikitha. Preetish and Archana ( One of our friends ) were standing beside me. Suddenly Preetish said may be next time we will have to get a gift to Narasimha's ( my Husband ) house. I smiled with the same emotions and thoughts flooding my mind.....
I came home and went to sleep and always prayed that things go on good. and i get my Doc appt for the next day.Anyhow i was not very fortunate, so was not able to get an appt wit the doc on Monday, but fortunate enough to get it on Tuesday....so one more day full of tension.

Our Journey Towards Parenthood

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